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WHAT’ S GOAN ON?

Our roving reporter, who wishes to remain annonymous, gathered the following information from a ton of shredded documents.

Ashley Coutinho has been selected to represent Mother India in World Cup ‘98. The decision was finalized after observing his triumphant play at the soccer matches during Goan picnics last summer.

Dianne Nunes quit her job at the Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory to join the US Bowling Tour.

Mickey D’Souza has been chosen to be the next challenger for Deep Blue in a chess match being dubbed as the great showdown between Mickey and machine.

Ian Lobo did not make the final cut in the jockey tryouts for the Kentucky Derby.

Kevin Martins, Homer Simpson and Jerry Van Dyke of "Coach" have been banned from all-you-can eat buffets.

Las Vegas is favoring the Goan "singles" soccer team over the "married" team by 2 goals at the summer picnic.